Lisa Life Lesson- "Mom, I have NO FRENZZZ!!!"

Mom, I have NO FRENZZZ!!!

It really is a devastating statement.  You’re the mom.  You’re supposed to fix stuff, ya know? So when that brick is thrown at you, you go into mom fix it mode.  “Well honey of course you have friends!” “No I don’t.” “Yes you do…what about Sarah?” “Sarah hates me.” “Well, what about Susan?” “She only likes the soccer players.” “Oh, well you and Carla have always gotten along so well.  She’s your friend!” “No she isn’t.  She moved.”  And then you go all hyperChristian and give the obligatory, “Well sweetheart, Jesus is your friend.  Yes.  Jesus loves you and He’s your friend.  So go be friends with Jesus while I finish dinner.  K?” 

And you did it.  You played the Jesus card.  Again.  What would we moms do without the Jesus card? It is true.  Jesus is our friend.  He’s actually our best friend.  But a 3^rd grader might need a friend in the flesh, too.  Someone to play with on the playground and confide in and make stupid noises with.  Friends are good.

Whether your child is extremely social or a loner, he’s still going to want an occasional buddy.  We all do.  And some kids make friends easier than others.  I told my girls more than once, wait for it, wait…”You have to BE a friend to HAVE friend.”  One of my all time favorites. 

1).  When your kids are feeling friendless, identify with them.  You’ve felt alone before, too.  Share your experiences.  Comfort them and remind them this is temporary.

2).  Brainstorm.  Sometimes kids get stuck in ruts with friends.  They need new blood.  Remind them of the new neighbor on the street who needs a friend.  Or of the girl they sat by in Sunday School and talked about non-stop on the way home from church.  Or the boy on the team that you took home after practice.  

3).  If appropriate, coordinate a fun activity to get kids together.  I wouldn’t do this for juniors in high school.  But elementary/middle school, yes.

4).  Pray with your kids about their friendships.  Jesus had friends.  You have friends.  Your kids want friends.  You want them to hang out with kids who are like minded.  Not ones who will lead them astray or down the wrong path.  And you want your kids to represent Christ and your family well.  There are lots of reasons our kids attract the wrong friends.  PRAY.  (Proverbs 13:20)

5).  Don’t panic.  If your child has one true friend he/she is blessed.  They don’t need a posse.  

Proverbs 27:17 – “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”

Blessings,
Lisa
Sky Ranch SkyMoms Parenting Mentor