Tuesday, January 19, 2010

“It Runs in the Family”... by Lisa Clark

We joke in our house that my oldest daughter is a carbon copy of my husband and my younger daughter is mini-me. Mannerisms, insecurities, looks…basically the same person. I’ve learned through the years how to “handle” my eldest child. Just like I “handle” my husband. Push through, don’t give up, stand your ground. They both have that type A, strong –willed personality. Mini-me and Me are a little more laid back. Easier to get along with. Almost perfect. :)

Regardless of our DNA, concepts like truth, morality, perseverance and integrity must be taught. We can’t rely on coaches, pastors and teachers to be the “Catch All” trainers and hope our kids “get” what we don’t take the time to teach or don’t want to deal with.

Granted, sometimes heavy issues are hard to approach and confront. We think that because a child is strong, he can deal with things better so we might not “get involved.” Kids are kids. They struggle, have blue days, let their emotions go haywire, and take things personally. Sound familiar?

Because of my laid back nature, I tend to let my kids work through issues without getting involved. This has been a positive through the years in that they have learned to work through things seeking guidance through prayer and God’s word. On the other hand, I know my kids have been left alone to deal with things that I should have helped them work through. I should have gotten involved. At the very least, I should have sat with them and listened.

The first child is most always a guinea pig, as was ours. I learned a lot about parenting along the way and she got some of my worst and best days. Because she was like her dad, I figured she could handle things that most likely she was not meant to handle alone. My bad. She forgives me. My youngest is experiencing a different tactic from me – perseverance. I am walking through closed doors even when I’m uncomfortable or irritated. I am sitting with her when she doesn’t want to talk. I am listening when I don’t want to hear. I am giving guidance though unsolicited.

Two days ago I was the one having a blue day. Emotionally spent, down, dragging. My husband wasn’t home at the time, so my daughter got to see a side of me that she doesn’t often see. As I sat on my bed, alone, reading and trying to refocus, she came in and plopped down on my bed with me like I often do in her room. She just started talking about random things and we began to laugh. She literally stayed with me an hour before it was time for her to get ready for bed. By then, my spirits were lifted. I’m still not quite over it. She had caught the compassion I'd been showing her and was putting it into practice--on me. Amazing how that worked.... I guess things really can run in the family.

No comments:

Post a Comment