Friday, October 29, 2010

Mom Cops

With some recent happenings with my middle school aged girls I was quickly reminded of this "Lisa Lesson-Parenting Tip" from our Sky Ranch website.  It was so good for me this week, I just had to post it to our SkyMom Blog!
~Tori Miller

Mom Cops
First, let me define Mom Cops – def. (noun) - Moms who think it is their sole job in this world to “police and report” all actions of their friends’ kids and their kids’ friends! Do you know any Mom Cops? More importantly, are you one?
A month or so ago, Brad and I and another couple went to the movies. The show we wanted to see was sold out, so we opted for another one…a comedy. We saw Paul Blart – Mall Cop. Brad would tell you he didn’t think it was a comedy at all. He thought it was a waste of his 20 bucks! I thought it was pretty cute. A mall cop on his segway trolling through the mall at .05 mph! Pretty funny!
It made me think of moms in mini-vans cruising through neighborhoods waiting for unsuspecting troublemaker preteens with issues. Look out! She’s out to get you! If you’ve ever had a conversation with a Mom Cop, then you know exactly what I’m talking about. I have had more than one “face-to-face” with one of these moms, and I don’t care to ever have another one. I remember one instance when a mom called me because she “heard” my daughter was planning on going to a movie with a group of kids, and she didn’t feel like the group or the movie was appropriate. Well, as is most often the case, she “heard” incorrect information. Then there was the time the mom let me know that our family portrait would have been “perfect, if my daughter’s shorts weren’t so short!” Thanks Mom! I needed that!
You see, most often, when Mom Cops deliver their reports, the news is biting and it stings. Then the relationship is awkward and many times fizzles. Proverbs has a lot to say about Mom Cops with agendas…

Proverbs 10:6-14 (The Message)
6 Blessings accrue on a good and honest life, but the mouth of the wicked is a dark cave of abuse.
7 A good and honest life is a blessed memorial; a wicked life leaves a rotten stench. 8 A wise heart takes orders;
an empty head will come unglued. 9Honesty lives confident and carefree, but Shifty is sure to be exposed. 10 An evasive eye is a sign of trouble ahead, but an open, face-to-face meeting results in peace. 11 The mouth of a good person is a deep, life-giving well, but the mouth of the wicked is a dark cave of abuse. 12 Hatred starts fights, but love pulls a quilt over the bickering. 13 You'll find wisdom on the lips of a person of insight, but the shortsighted needs a slap in the face. 14 The wise accumulate knowledge—a true treasure; know-it-alls talk too much—a sheer waste.

Think about this when you feel like it’s your job to call a mom or dad about their child:
1) Is their child in a life threatening situation?
 2) Is their child in a life altering situation?

If the answer to either of those questions is “Yes”, then by all means make the call.
If the answer is “NO”, then:
1)Pray for wisdom – Don’t be a fool or short-sighted. Seek righteousness. Don’t let your tongue be a source of evil.
2)Make sure you don’t rush to judgment – Validate your story.
3)Consider your reasons for “reporting” – Is it to prove a point? To defend YOUR child? To get back at that family for a prior situation? Or just plain hatred and bitterness? Or could it be jealousy?
4)Consider your friendship with this person/family.

Then, do what God leads you to do.

~Lisa Clark

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